Here is a unique way to stop a telemarketer in their scripted tracks. Listen as Tom Mabe puts one marketer one step closer to finding a new career.

I know I left them laying on the table by my chair
Now they’re gone and I’m the only one who seems to care
I turned the sofa over and I looked under the rug
But all I found were pennies, lint, and a very ugly bug

I emptied out the cupboards, and looked into the trash
But all I found was garbage and a can of corned beef hash
Where could they be I pondered as I searched the highs and lows
I know I didn’t lose a brand new bag of Lays Cheetos

My wife thought I was surely mad as through the house I raced
The dog thought it was playtime as after me she chased
I’ll find them any moment I was saying to myself
I looked in every cabinet and on every storage shelf

They must be near here somewhere for their scent it always lingers
And then I spied my daughter with a hand of orange fingers
I chased her up and down the stairs and through the house we went
Around the table, into the yard ‘til I was almost spent

I trapped her in the kitchen and I grabbed her by the arm
“Produce them now! ” I told her or I fear I’ll do you harm
“They’re in my room” she pleaded “Over by my bed”
I relaxed my grip and she broke free and out the door she sped

The information she had given made me feel contented
Anticipation filled my soul as up the stairs I sprinted
I entered in my daughters room and searched among the clutter
A flash of orange caught my eye and gave my heart a flutter

I wildly leaped across the room as happy as a sprite
Grabbing the bag I quickly knew that something wasn’t right
I peered inside and what I saw quickly struck me dumb
Inside the bag was nothing more than a tiny orange crumb

They found my darling daughter at her Grandma’s late that night
Interrogation soon revealed the origin of her plight
She told of her sad story and the worst of all her woes
Was finding on a table a misplaced bag of Lays Cheetos

Misplaced Cheetos by Stephen E. Washam

In case of zombies, recruit necrophiliacs.to create a zombie strike team.

Researchers are trying to pack every bit of bacon flavor possibly can to create the ultimate bacon cheeseburger.

The school will have their hands full enforcing this.

Weiner sure has been taking a pounding.
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

This is the same scene the U.S. Navy Seals saw as they entered the Osama bin Laden compound.

Also, you don’t have to wait for May 21, 2011 to see The Raputre, it’s out on video.

Thanks to Deanna for pointing out this nugget.

You know she’s a keeper.